Breaking up is never easy, especially when there are children involved. Things tend to get a little messy and leave you ridden with anxiety, grief and guilt. The most important aspect in divorce, though, is minimizing the impact on your kids. By all means, you need to take the time to mourn the loss of your marriage, but your children’s welfare should be your utmost priority.
Your kids should never be caught in the crossfire of divorce, no matter how hard that may seem. It may feel as though it’s impossible to put on a brave face, but you can get through it. It’s time to get fronting and handle all the formalities like responsible adults. Here is our advice for making arrangements regarding your children following the breakdown of a marriage.
Try to Come to a Civil Agreement
This can arguably be the hardest part of divorce where children are concerned. It may be easier to bury your head in the sand, but that’s not a smart thing to do in this instance. Try to resist the urge to avoid your ex-partner at all costs. There’s going to come a time when you need to confront them face-to-face. Better to get it out of the way.
At some point, the two of you are going to need to sit down and come to an agreement regarding the custody of your children. Make sure you don’t let your personal animosity cloud your judgment. At the very least, your child has the right to have a healthy relationship with both of their parents. As best you can, engage in reasonable discourse. You should be willing to compromise with your child’s best interests at heart.
What If You Can’t Make Arrangements Between You?
You may have to enlist the help of a legal firm like Zaner Harden attorneys if you can’t come to a compromise. For many people, this is a last resort and should be treated as such. Even then, try to make negotiations as smooth as possible. The last thing you want is for your children to be caught in the middle of a legal battle.
Shared custody is usually the end result in these cases. You can’t stop your ex from seeing their child without good reason. Do not be spiteful. It’ll only harm your children in the end.
So, What Comes Next?
Once you’ve found a resolution one way or another, you’ll need to start thinking about the next steps. The breaking up process works differently when you have children together. Whereas you once could avoid contact with your ex like the plague, now you’re going to need to see them regularly. Likely for the rest of your lives. Get used to that idea sooner rather than later, and you’ll save yourself a lot of stress.
At this point, try and put your feelings to bed. Don’t harbour any resentment towards your ex, as your child may pick up on it. Check out our guide on succeeding as a single mother to help you through it.